"I think that the Porn Award Shows (not just AVN) are ridiculous the way they are done. I refuse to climb on a stage, thank my parents and accept the award for Best Anal of the year!!" writes Lord. "Oh, thank you, thank you...I take it up the ass like nobody!"

Lord proposes to create her own online awards recognizing achievements in the industry.

It should be noted that Lord has never won an award from AVN Magazine at their annual CES awards show.

"S Club Star Caught Up in Prostitution Scandal"

Sexy "S Club 7" singer Rachel Stevens has found herself in the midst of a prostitution scandal. The London Sun reports that Stevens, one of the seven teen singers/actors who makes up the U.K. entertainment act "S Club 7", is the daughter of publisher Michael Stevens whose publishing company produces a guide informing readers of the best places in London to solicit prostitution.

Rachel has been quoted in to the London Sun, saying, "I don't think it's seedy and my dad certainly doesn't phone them himself, but obviously he does make money out of the publication - he's a businessman."
The book, entitled The Blue Guide to London, is a catalogue of high-end prostitutes (male and female), chat lines and escort services and is available in hundreds of London magazine shops as well as some hotels throughout London.

"Porn star To Sleep With 1,000 Men"

Ananova News reports that a Brazillian porn actress is attempting to set a world record for having sex with 1,000 men over the course of one month. The event is currently being broadcast on Spanish television.

The show has become widely viewed, not only because of it's combination of sex and nudity, but because of the fact that a number of women viewers have called in claiming that they have recognized their husbands as participants in the ongoing gangbang. This in spite of the fact that the men wear masks to hide their identities.

Capital TV is broadcasting the four-hour programmes every night from midnight until 4am.

"The Lord Works in Mysterious Ways"

While repeated technical slip-ups have been reported on wherein irresponsible technicians have mistakenly played porn movies in place of children's programming, the Catholic Church has become the latest victim of a broadcast snafu.

A transmission of the annual feast celebrating the Exaltation of the Venerable Cross, a Roman Catholic observance, was televised live to millions of viewers across Italy, Spain and Latin America. However, the accompanying sound track to the event was mistakenly replaced by the moans and groans of a porno movie.

The signal, originating with Italy's RAI broadcasting company, was received by a satellite company in Luxembourg who mixed up the audio signals to the broadcast and the Fantasy Channel, a pay cable station that was broadcasting "Stacey and the Hunt" featuring Kaitlyn Ashley and "Babes Illustrated #06" with Shyla Foxxx.

According to news reports, for two hours the faithful watched while listening to the sounds of sex while numerous whankers had to enjoy their porn movies accompanied by hymms, chants, incantation and prayer.

"It sounded like a very unfortunate mistake," said a spokesman for the Roman Catholic Church.