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| by Dave Michaels |
March 30, 2001
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| "PornoDave's Hollywood Sex Scene"
AKA
"Porn Has Gone Mainstream, I Think Not Part 2"
OK, here I go again. Don't hate the messenger, I always say, but from my last postings of how porn will never go mainstream, I received tons of mail telling me to go fuck myself.
So here are more observances of mainstream trying to tap their proverbial cock in the dirty water. First off, a lot of the girls I mentioned in my last article, which did bit parts in Hollywood films as (what else) naked porn chicks, didn't quite like my postings. But here are a few more chicks who think they are "moving on up."
Porn chick and local stripper, Angel Veil, can be seen in the new promos for the XFL: Extreme Football League, as guess what? A hot, slutty, naked cheerleader for the team. Hey, didn't say I didn't like seeing her shake her pompoms, but is that mainstream acting?
Even porn Internet muckraker, Luke Ford, is going into my territory of trying to find out if porn chicks have gone mainstream. Guess what, most of the girls that responded really showed their IQ, by telling everyone that they appeared on Jerry Springer or the Jenny Jones show. I won't even give that a response.
Here's a doozy for porno dude crossing over to mainstream and actually sticking it out in more ways then one. Simon Rex, the gay porn stud, (he tells everyone he just did jack off videos) was once an MTV VJ. After MTV found out about his past (and if you really think they DIDN'T know about his past before hand, you're a bigger idiot than Brittany Spears (more on that later) they let him go from his contract. But that didn't seem to hurt his career a bit. He now can be seen in TV teen dramas like "Jack & Jill" and the WB's "Felicity." Now THAT is a crossover! I stand corrected.
FYI: On a recent episode of "Just Shoot Me," Herschel Savage and Ron Jeremy did a cameo. Sorry to say, they played themselves so they didn't crossover. Savage had actual lines but Ronnie was hidden in the background, mostly blurred out, playing a cameraman. In the episode, David Spade and Wendi Malick conspire to allow a porn company film a movie in their boss, George Segal's, office after hours. The porn director was played by Penn Jillette (of Penn and Teller) and Savage played a porn star. I don't regularly watch the show, but I think Savage's porn character was named the same as Segal's character.
In the end credits, Savage and Jillette got credits, but as best as I could tell, Ron got no billing. Porn's Pagliachi gets the shaft again.
My rant on crossover porn chicks is very exhausting. But, there are always exceptions to the rules. And the biggest one I could come up with, is quite possibly the biggest crossover from porn to mainstream ever. Penthouse Pet/Naughty nude internet girl and local radio talk show host for 97.1 KLSX, Miss Sam Phillips made the BIG leap to television. Now, a lot of porno chicks have appeared on goofy ass daytime talk shows, but Sam actually took the place of talk show host (and Academy Award winner) Sybil Shepard's place on the show, Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus. Now if that isn't the biggest slap in the face ever, I don't know what is. You go Sam!
Little known fact: TV's "Frasier" co-star, Jane Leeves, the bubbly Daphne on the series, was first seen as one of the sexy, big bosomed, angelic show girls, that came down from Heaven, in the British comedy, "Monty Python's - The Meaning Of Life."
Don't get too excited dudes, the boobies were prosthetic fakes.
But I still went out and rented a copy and hit my "pause" feature on my remote for the DVD. I'm such a loser.
Here's a chick from my past. I was a big New Wave nerd in high school. In the '80s, the all-girl group the Go-Go's dominated the charts - but now giggly guitarist Jane Wiedlin is into a different kind of domination. When she's not doing voice-overs for kiddy cartoons, the squeaky-voiced Wiedlin moonlights as a whip-cracking dominatrix at S&M parties and fetish balls. But while she enjoys inflicting pain on her "slaves," the longtime PETA member spares critters by wearing only leather, latex and vinyl garb and using non-leather whips, she tells Genre magazine.
The song, "We Got The Beat" is seen in a whole new light for me now.
Talk about "Monkey See. Monkey Do". Just after Brittany Spears decides to poke holes into her titties Christina Aguilera decides to become a human pin cushion also. The sexy songbird had both nipples pierced at Andromeda tattoo parlor on St. Marks Place recently, and now she's thinking about getting even more holes. Piercer Michael Addonisio, who perforated Aguilera's chest, says a pal of hers called last month to inquire about getting Aguilera's "nose or navel pierced." Addonisio, who has also pierced Alyssa Milano's ears and Tia Carrere's navel, says he never gets starstruck punching holes in celebs. "Christina had to expose her breasts to me," he admits. "But I've been doing this for 11 years. She was just another customer."
Speaking about titties. Arnold Schwarzenegger is a total fucking sex freak. That guy is going into counseling just like Harrison Ford (more about him later). In an incredible report that comes out of the UK. It seems Arnold has more in common with those perverted Kennedys than we thought. According to British TV host Anna Richardson, the super horny Austrian star pulled her onto his knee at the end of an interview she was conducting with him, demanded to know if she'd had a boob job, then pinched one of her nipples.
It was a bit of a shock for the big titty host of the British television show Big Screen. In an interview with the British tabloid, The Sun, she said the incident made her feel angry and embarrassed, but also a little helpless. She was quoted as saying, "I wanted to say, 'You dirty bastard.' But you can't tell a powerful man like him to fuck off. He kept saying how fantastic I looked and staring at my boobs. When I went to shake his hand he pulled me on to his knee, saying 'I really want to know if your breasts are real.' I told him they were an F-cup, the British equivalent of a triple-D bra. Before I knew what was happening, he circled my nipple with his finger and gave it a squeeze. He then said, 'Yeah, they are real.'"
All right Arnold! You dirty old bastard.
On a side note. Arnold was at a dinner event, and at his table was Exorcist child star (now a well endowed woman) Linda Blair. He leaned over the table and in front of everyone at the table said to Blair, "I've always wanted to fuck you!"
Man, Marie Shriver lets him do just about anything.
Now onto a dirty little secret about Brooke Shields. Here's the part she tells everyone.
TV/Film star Brooke Shields, recently told the gay magazine, The Advocate, in a candid interview how gays helped raise her and of her strong attraction to some women. Brooke Shields says she had a gay ol' time growing up - raised with the help of two male homosexual "godmothers" - and finds many women "very attractive."
Also in the interview for the magazine, the 34-year-old star calls her deep roots in the gay community "the proudest part of my life" - and claims she even persuaded ex-hubby Andre Agassi to "alter" his homophobic ways when they were married.
Brooke is quoted, "I'm just starting to understand what I'm made of. I envision myself in a marriage with children. I'm moved by that. But there's many women I find very attractive. But that's not acceptable in this world."
Shields says her openness to sexuality shouldn't be surprising because she grew up surrounded by gays: Most of Mom Teri's friends were homosexual men.
"I grew up with my Mom and these two guys - my godmothers, I call them. They raised me, with my Mom, in Manhattan.
The "Suddenly Susan" star says her unusual upbringing helped her become comfortable playing gay-related roles - for example, in the flick "Misadventures of Margaret," she shares a passionate kiss with Parker Posey, and in "Black and White" she portrays the wife of a gay filmmaker played by Robert Downey Jr.
While off-stage, Brooke has been linked only to men, the sometimes-gender-bender-dressing actress did once date gay singer George Michael - and just last week, publicly locked lips with comic actress Lea DeLaria for a laugh at a gay-awards night.
Here are some quotes from Brooke:
She helped curb then-hubby tennis ace Agassi's homophobia by introducing him to her world: "Not that I changed him. I think he just altered his behavior around me."
She admires "beautiful, sexy" bisexual actress Angelina Jolie: "Angelina's candor is refreshing."
She's had to wrestle with her Catholic upbringing and the church's stance against homosexuality: "Luckily, I had a few choice priests who were able to say there's a bigger view."
OK, now you are wondering why I'm writing all this RECENT exploits of Miss Shields. Well, we here at Talking Blue have known about Brooke's gay involvement for years. We also know the porn star personally, who had a WILD three-way with Brooke and Andre.
The porn star in question is non other than legendary porn queen, Miss Jeanna Fine. She even told us in an interview how Miss Shield's "people" told her not to talk about the escapades. So since Brooke now is all in the open about her "gayness," maybe Jeanna will talk about the nasty night of wild sex. And, did Andre ask for a strap on.
We'll keep you posted on a new interview with Miss Fine.
Celebrity sighting!!! Celebrity sighting!!!
Titanic superstar, Leonardo DiCaprio was seen recently at The Shrine Auditorium in Los Angeles, California, attending the monthly Sci-Fi and Comic Book Convention. The wild part was he was trying to be in disguise as he bought porno tapes.
When the dealer of the porno was later asked on the tastes of Mr. DeCaprio, he said he bought only "straight" titles. Too funny. I always thought he was gay.
Speaking of gay sightings, oh, ah, just kidding...maybe.
Saving Private Ryan star, Matt Damon, gets cornered by a nude fan. While dining out at a Los Angeles restaurant, Damon got up to use the men's room, a crazy female fan followed him into the toilet, locked the door, tore off her clothes and told him she was ready to fuck his brains out.
According to the Daily Star, the girl was all over the 30-year-old actor, kissing him and offering him any kind of sex he wanted. Funny part is, he thought it was Ben Affleck at first and was ecstatic. Then realized the mistake.
And ending this folly of innuendoes, mega film star Tom Cruise and his wife Nicole Kidman have filed for divorce...
OK...I'm not gonna touch that one with a ten foot pole.
And ending this month's Hollywood Sex Scene, and my observation of Porno Crossover.
In a recent "Talk" magazine article from Martin Amis. Amis interviewed many porn performers for his article on the industry. It was a very interesting article. Kudos go to Amis on his observations on the industry. The same can't be said for Oliviero Toscani's very unflattering photos of some of porn's finest. The photos came out a little too "cheeky" and weren't very appealing of the ladies. See page 98 to understand. But back to Amis's article. The paragraph that sums up this month's article is this:
"Every time a porno star opens a megastore, or advertises a line of perfume, or does a walk-on in a TV show, porno people start saying that porno has gone mainstream, that porno is hip, that porno is cool. Is masturbation hip? It doesn't feel hip. And it doesn't look hip, either: You don't see anyone doing it. Porno can never be mainstream, partly because of the contrarian nature of the form. For porno to become mainstream, human beings would have to change."
We aren't ready to do that... yet.
Until next time, we'll be watching!
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